Day 3: Stretching out the Wings

ACTIVE GOALS

  • Post daily for 365 days.
  • Grow out hair for 365 days.
  • Post daily gratitude for 365 days.
  • Lose 40-lbs in one year.
  • Submit at least 5 images at each photography club meeting.
  • Gluten-free. Day 3/90
  • In bed by 10pm and awake by 6am. Day 2/7
  • 30 Days of Yoga. Day 2/30

  • Today’s early wake-up was much better. I felt rested enough, or maybe I was just giving up after the several wakes throughout the night. Either way, I ended up getting to sleep at 11 and waking up at 7. Slightly off my schedule but still better than before. I’m trying not to get frustrated that I didn’t complete it exactly as the goal is phrased, because one thing my therapist also wants me to work on is giving myself grace. To stop living in an “all or nothing” state of mind.

    My son had a rough day back to school after the Christmas break. He didn’t want to go but we talked and I got him excited to go, but of course once the moment came and we were waking to his classroom his anxiety overwhelmed him and he broke down. It was heart breaking, but his teachers are so good with him and helped him through it and his tears had turned to huge smiles by the time I picked him up. It was still hard to watch him suffer in the beginning. As someone who knows just how confusing and suffocating anxiety can be, it is painful to watch it affect your child.

    In order to cope with the sadness of leaving my child at his school in that state I came straight home and did my second day of yoga with Adriene. Day 2 Dedicate: 30 Days of Yoga. It was just what my spirits needed to lift. It helped ground my emotions and center them on a more stable foundation to deal with whatever the rest of the day had in store for me.

    This afternoon I was happy to de-clutter the house of all things Christmas. While I enjoy the festive look before the holidays, as soon as the celebrations are over I want it all out of my sight. This process helped so much to alleviate some of the stress I was dealt today.

    My husband had a great day at work, passed a difficult test and earned a fancy certification as a result. To celebrate we decided it was time to take a family weekend trip. So I booked us a stay in Chincoteague for the weekend at a hotel with an indoor pool. My son’s therapist recommended we have some fun play time in the pool together as a family to help ease his fear of swimming underwater, and it just so happens to be the off-season on the mid-Atlantic coast. I am very much looking forward to this time together and a slower pace to work on some more of my goals.

    At our photography club meeting tonight I submitted 5 images to be critiqued in the theme “winter.” My goal is to participate in the theme each month. I’m also very glad that my husband has decided to start coming with me to the meetings and participating. Photography is such a beautiful method of expression and I love to see the differences in perspectives each photograph shares. It’s eye-opening.

    To end this post, I’m thankful for my village. Near and far, I have so many people in my life from various walks who can lend an ear and offer me sage advice when I need it. They calm me down and bring peace to my heart simply by sharing words with me. Words sent from a loving place of friendship. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Until tomorrow.

    Also, I was gluten free all day today except for the snickerdoodle cookie dough blizzard I had at Dairy Queen tonight. Let’s pretend you can’t read that, even though to be accountable I technically have to write it down.

    Goodnight!

    Day 2: I’m Awake

    It’s 6:00. As in 0600.

    I am awake, but still lying here in bed squinting at my phone and trying to wake up enough to function.

    This is my view.

    What the heck do people do this early? I asked my husband this while he was getting ready for work. His alarm went off at 5am. “We drink coffee.”

    I am a night owl. I always have been. Staying up until 1am and waking up around 8am. So why the change? Because I have a 4-year old.

    My son goes to pre-k, for which we need to be out the door by 8:30. When we get up at 8am everything is rushed and it stresses us both out. So I’m hoping that by getting to bed earlier I can shift the timing enough to avoid the unnecessary panic.

    But just lying here writing this I’m slammed with nausea, never ending yawns and a mild hot flash.

    Fine. I’m getting up.

    It’s so dark my Christmas tree lights the way to the kitchen. This is new.

    I make my way to the kitchen for coffee, to feed the dogs (who aren’t even awake yet) and eat my rice Chex (gluten free!)

    But what else should I do? I didn’t wake up with the excitement of doing something new and getting started, so I’m going to take this easy. I’m going to do what I would normally do in the wee hours of the morning/late night: watch Hoarders and inspire myself to purge my home of excess everything.

    Why is it so dark outside??? Day 1 of new sleep schedule is done before the sun is even up. That does feel good.